we can plant a house, we can build a tree...

26 JAN 2004 - 10.28p
all of this icy weather makes me think of two things. one being the guided by voices song motor away. the other... ice skating. tony and i are going to go ice skating one of these days. actually, i'll skate for like five minutes and then my ankles will hurt. he'll skate for hours since he was a hockey kid for a number of years. but i still want to go skating with him... he'll laugh at me.

i forgot to talk about april march, i think. she's nice and it tickles me that she lives in cleveland now... somewhere in tony's hood. i hope we run into her at the grocery store some sunday morning while i'm listening to tony talk about how pumpkin seeds make him think of baseball. i got the same pregnancy vibe from her that i got from the sleater-kinney chick that one time... so healthy baby wishes to april march and her husband. the beachland show was great... and surprisingly well attended. i wish i would have been in a slightly better mood. i think i was just headachey or something... but i still enjoyed it.

other upcoming shows... mtx at the grog shop!!! and that's really all i can think about. supposedly gbv is resheduling for early march. yay!

26 JAN 2004 - 10.42a
this beautiful house is such a hole... i wouldn't be surprised if it was built on an indian burial ground or something. i was just watching a wedding story in my bedroom with phoebe when the shelving unit in my closet came crashing down. all of my clothes are hanging from this thing, and i had boxes with pictures on the shelf. GAH!

the dog went running, hiding in her "safe spot" under the computer desk. i hung all of my clothes in another closet. i don't want to sort through the boxes that fell... that stuff will probably sit on my closet floor until i move again.

phoebe finally came out and went back in my room to inspect the damage... but as soon as she realized i was in there, she went running out, back to the safe spot. yes, this is the dog that is going to save me from pink robots. you'll see.

25 JAN 2004 - 6.07p
new hot blog look... thanks to pal david for all of his help. i could never have done it without you! i would like to add that the drawing above, as well as the hand printed words (whatever they may be on this visit!) are my own. yes, my art skills are OFF THE CHARTS.

i had a lovely weekend, aside from being snowed in on friday night. and aside from missing the bloom band last night because neither tony nor myself wanted to suffer through the slumber party. tony and i did have an excellent meal at tommy's... played at big fun, where he bought an atari cartridge... and once at home, we tried to "experience" the flaming lips dvd thing. i fell asleep. i was very tired... but i did really enjoy "phoebe battles the pink robots" which IS about my dog despite what others believe...

i made banana pancakes for breakfast this morning... they were delish. my pancake skills (like my art skills) are OFF THE CHARTS.

tony and i both applied for jobs today online at fedex... except i'm not really exactly sure we applied because we each had zero matches. and i don't really remember telling them my address or phone number or anything, either. hmm. fedex is scamming us, i think. i'm not even really sure what kinds of jobs we were applying for. oh well.

22 JAN 2004 - 4.35p
it's been a while since i've written. i suppose quite a bit has gone on... starting with saturday night at the beachland tavern. we were there to see the it-men... it was possibly their last show for a while. that totally blows... they are fantastic, and i hope they play another show sooner than later.

on sunday, lacey and i braved the streets of wooster so she could have some photos taken. the whole evening was a boat load of fun... met some lovely people from new jersey and saw lacey in some funny poses (the ones that were most notable were "ooooh! cupcakes!" and "toilet cleaning").

monday night, becky came up from a visit from columbus. it was so great seeing her! and man oh man, if you see her anytime soon, check out the giant rock on her finger! i'm anxiously awaiting her wedding... it was much fun to talk about the details with her. we also had a good time discussing becky's job... she gets to examine neon green poo.

tony made me dinner on tuesday and we watched tv. we didn't play uno at all... i think he's afraid i'm going to kick his ass again. heh.

tonight we're going to see april march at the beachland. i'm really excited about that. i have a headache right now. i need to take some advil immediately so i stay excited about the show.

oh, the gbv show on saturday in columbus was CANCELLED. bob hurt his back. i'm so sad... i was really looking forward to seeing them. it's been a couple of months and this totally throws off my schedule... i'm used to seeing them at least every two months. bah! we're going to the grog shop instead... the slumber party (BLEH!) is playing (we will NOT be staying for them!) and bloom is opening. bloom is the new band of ex-gbvster tim tobias. we'll see what they're about... it will be good to see tim although it will probably make me miss him in gbv that much more.

17 JAN 2004
everything is okay at home! one very large hole in the ground in front of the house and life is gas-free.

braving the wintery weather tonight to go to the beachland for the it-men and others. weee! i'm excited about going out.

the sleepover at tony's last night was a riot. we stayed up playing uno until after two in the morning. why? because tony challenged me to a competition... best of thirty games. why thirty? no clue. what was the prize? um, i guess there wasn't one. bah. but i'm pleased to announce that i was the winner... beating tony 16 to 12. for the longest time, i had the most insane lead... a crazy winning streak that was finally broken when i started losing my mind because i was so tired.

okay, i have hungry hungry horses!

16 JAN 2004 - 10.14a
the gas company found a gas leak outside of our house. they are turning our gas off, so we have to go. this is not cool. we have to pay someone to fix it... gas company will not fix it. it will be hard to find someone who can do it because of how the house sits on a hill... it's actually more like a small cliff in front of the house to the road. the line goes from the house to the road.

i will be staying with tony effective tonight. i will have my cell phone, as always. i don't know how long i will be staying there... however long it takes for them to fix it, i guess.

i am very worried about my horses... they will be staying here. i am worried not because of the gas... but because of silly things... they are used to having warm buckets whenever theirs freeze. i am worried something will happen to them and nobody will be here. that one of them will escape... that one of them will get hurt.

14 JAN 2004 - 9.10a
i don't know what was with yesterday... i had a crazy day. i went to the barn, and sure enough newt shredded one of my wraps. these were wraps that weren't even a year old and that had barely been used. if anybody wants to know what to get me for valentine's day or my birthday this year, i can point you in the direction of wilker's wraps. gah.

after i rode, i noticed a an inch long tear in the leather of my chaps. BAH! these are custom chaps that are maybe 3 or 4 years old... i can have them patched (but that would mean parting with them for probably more than a week... and i don't want to do that!)... but what i'll most likely do is wear them until they fall apart. then i will buy the nicest off the rack leather half-chaps i can find... then when i finally have money of my own (or maybe for an upcoming christmas from my mom), i will get a new pair of custom chaps. i already know the colors i want... chocolate brown smooth leather with a taupe stripe and baby blue piping. i'm a nerd.

then... i came home and was doing a little light cleaning of the stalls here... no big deal. i added a bag of fresh shavings to lucy's stall. i let henry in her stall to roll (this is the routine... i add fresh shavings, henry rolls while lucy waits for her turn to roll... always henry first!). lucy was not waiting quite so patiently... she was going nuts under the overhang... bucking, rearing... i was standing a few feet away from her and i was scared. i had nowhere to go since my only way out was through the stall henry was rolling in.

so, long story short, the wild baby horse finally got to roll in her stall... somehow shattering the heavy plastic feed tub bolted to the corner of her stall... i'm assuming she must have kicked it or something. it totally sucked because parts of it were still bolted on... there were thick, sharp shards of plastic on the wall. i had to get a special thing from my uncle to unbolt the remaining parts of feed tub because it was bolted on so tightly.

let's hope things are better today. i don't want anything to break.

13 JAN 2004 - 11.16a
last night ended well... good conversation on the phone with tony, after i found out he was mad at me for something from sunday... which carried over into monday. i really felt happy when i got off the phone with him and was looking forward to seeing him tonight. but now he doesn't want to see me.

i heard lacey is changing her blog... which is excellent. i had a hand in determining the name of her new child. i like naming things. david is helping her with it, of course, because she and i are both computer challenged. i'd like a new look for mine... i'm fine with the name and stuff. david might as well do mine at the same time he's doing lacey's... lacey and i have this parallel blog thing we have to uphold.

i jumped newt last night... first time he's done anything substantial in a LONG time. i should run out to the barn and take his wraps off before he eats them. he was very good... he only started to do silly things when he got tired. i was pleased.

i guess i should go now. more later...

12 JAN 2004 - 7.37a
if it's not one thing, it's another. i have no water in my barn. fucking piece of shit excavator... i'm 100% sure that both this, and the electricity mishap last month are related to asshole who did all the wiring/piping. but it has been colder than cold the last few days... so maybe things are frozen... but it's "warm" out there now... and upon investigation this morning, it looks like i'm still going to have to carry buckets out from the basement sink. mothereffer.

i've been feeling like total ass the last few days. back pain and some yucky things going on in my head. the back pain has been nearly unbearable. what a time to have to haul heavy water buckets across the yard to the barn, huh? yeah, i've had to do that by myself, and do my stalls by myself. i'm convinced these things have only made my back worse. the kind of worse that has me all teary eyed while i'm doing my chores... the kind of worse that makes me wish and pray that someone, anyone would offer a hand. but nobody did. so i carried buckets, shoveled shit. and spent nearly all of my free time in bed, trying to find some elusive comfortable position. i did watch a lot of great television, though.

i had a shitty weekend, mainly because of this sickness or whatever is going on with me. didn't do anything friday night. saturday night tony took me out for dinner and then we played uno. yesterday i did nothing again. i wish something fun would happen soon.

i need a shower. need to feed henry and lucy. weeeee.

07 JAN 2004 - 1.00p
all of my best to lacey. i am so sad for her. i feel like an ass because i have no idea what to say... but i doubt anything i could say would even make her feel better. i even tried to give her henry.

lucy kicked me in the knee yesterday. thank god she's shoeless! but it still hurt like a motherfucker. bruised today... and pretty sore. i'll live, though. i've learned to shrug superficial injuries, such as 900+ pound baby horse kicking me in the knee. it sounds much worse than it actually is. tony was very nice about the whole thing, even planning to take today off work to take care of me... unfortunately, i didn't need him to do that.

i have to figure out what is going on...

06 JAN 2004 - 11.34a
i finished reading the lovely bones yesterday. almost everybody i know (except lacey) has already read it... and i've been on this big reading kick lately (well, two books in two days so far... more to read today). i enjoyed the lovely bones... it was a quick, enjoyable read, and for the first time in my life, i CRIED at a book.

the book made me think of my brush with almost (but not quite almost) being kidnapped. i'm sure every kid has a story like this (tony had like five)... i was in the third grade, walking home from my grandparents' house. they lived maybe three blocks away and i might have just been hanging out there after school until my older sister got home. i'm not sure. but it was raining, i was walking. some guy in a car pulls down a side street that i was preparing to cross. he stops his car in front of me and asks me if i want a ride. i find it hard to believe that any kid in this day and age would get in a car with a stranger, so i passed. i was scared, but only a block from home... he backed his car up onto the main road and started following me very slowly. i started running and as soon as i started running, he sped off. i tried to get his license plate number... but i couldn't see it very well. this was in brooklyn, back before we had a fence or our neighbors had fences. i cut through some yards to get home.

my sister was on the phone. she's a huge bitch, and i was afraid to say anything to her, figuring she'd make fun of me or something. i was pretty upset and crying and stuff, which was definitely something she could've made fun of. instead of telling her, i wrote what i thought the license plate number was on this poster of a unicorn i had in my bedroom... i wrote it very lightly in pencil so it wouldn't ruin the poster.

i waited for her to get off the phone. it might have been hours... i calmed down a little, but i was still scared. i finally told my sister and she called my mom and then the police. it wasn't a big deal, i guess... the cop was nice enough. turns out i got the license plate number wrong... it didn't match my description of the car, which sucks. oh well.

05 JAN 2004 - 10.04a
my blog needs archived. ahem. soon enough, i guess... david had enough excitement this weekend, i'm sure. i also am planning on a new design soon. yay, toaster.

i need to get an oil change today. must get a haircut at some point this week. and i have to return stuff to a horse store... and have lunch with tony when i decide to do my returns.

i love tony. i didn't see him yesterday which kind of blew. he called me to watch queer eye when he was supposed to be in bed... and we laughed and laughed.

i was looking at tony when we were in the car the other day... he saw me looking at him (he was driving). the whole time i was thinking about how young he looks... less than three months away from twenty-nine and when i met him less than a year and a half ago, i was almost shocked to find out he was old enough to drink. anyhow... when i was looking at him, i was wondering to myself when he's going to ever look old. not old. but his age. or something.

i love him.

02 JAN 2004 - 12.54p
happy nude year!

we rang in the new year at a somewhat tame gathering at lacey's (tame compared to most other gatherings at lacey's... but the tameness was a good thing!). i was awarded the title of prom queen which i'm super excited about. i didn't get a tiara... a little bummed about that... but i'm ready to begin my reign as queen.

i've been spending loads of quality time with mr. tony meda. i'm really looking forward to the nice weekend ahead. tonight we plan on going mountain climbing and then we will play atari. i don't feel like typing right now.